Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize