If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
