I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
