i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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