i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Let's paint friendship bongs
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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