Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
