Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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