then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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