I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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