Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
