Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
