i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
