Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
