he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
