How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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