I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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