he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
