I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
