Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
