I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
