So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
