His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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