Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize