Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
