Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
