I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
