My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
