one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
