he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
