Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
