Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
