I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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