I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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