when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
