All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
