I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
