Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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