This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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