Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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