So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
