dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
