in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
