Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
smell my finger.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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