The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
