my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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