my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize