Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
