kristin has been a bad kristin
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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