I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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