So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
