i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
