dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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