You're a womanizer and a bitch.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
