Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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