and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize