Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Everything about him screamed your future.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
