i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Even my vagina gasped.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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