its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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