I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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