I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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