well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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