Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
